Thank you for your submissions in the worst wine label contest! Here we have it: the finalists!

I recruited two judges to help whittle down the field to five labels and they are now available for your voting after the jump. But first, the judges: Steve De Long, known to many for his fine aesthetic work on the various products at De Long Wine Company; and Guillaume Jourdan, a partner at Vitabella, a PR and marketing firm in Paris who has consulted wineries on improving their labels. Since he’s foreign, I guess he’ll be our Simon Cowell. To the voting!

Cleavage Creek,
Josh sent this one in, saying, “I know Marilyn Merlot. Marilyn Merlot is a friend of mine. You, madam, are no Marilyn Merlot!”
Tyler: “Is that a flag pin?”
Steve: “Some things are so bad that they?re good but cleavage creek can?t make that transcendent spin. It?s embarrassingly bad. However it may be good for pranks like sending bottles through the mail to friends. A little like sending mail in envelopes marked “The Pornography You Ordered.”
Guillaume: “On the positive side, you immediately understand that this wine comes from America.”

Zeller Schwarze Katz
Mark sent this one in saying, “Zeller Schwarze Katz is a bad Mosel wine. (Zeller = from Zell, the town of Zell an der Mosel) It’s right up there with Liebfraumilch.” (Click photo to enlarge)
Tyler: “It made me laugh, it made me cry–but mostly cry.”
Steve: “Ding ding ding ? we have a winner. Truly terrible. Is that Riesling Rose or a pink bottle?! And what about the white bottle? And the spelling, the spelling!”
Guillaume: “If I have to buy it, it would be for a friend collecting every kind of ?cat shaped things? or for putting flowers in it if I suddenly broke my last ?vase? before my guests arrive.”

The Prisoner, Orin Swift
Nancy sent this one in saying “It?s ugly, depressing, pretentious, and vulgar.” It sparked a heated discussion.
Steve: “In Europe, we?ve had a lot of coverage of the Austrian dungeon nightmare story recently so the prisoner theme resonates. Regardless of the talent of the artist, pain and suffering isn?t exactly a great way to start a party.”
Guillaume: “Does this mean that it is your last wine before going to jail or the last before you die? Painful is the adjective coming to my mind when looking at this label. Is it painful to drink this wine?”
Tyler: [Shudder]

Honorable mention:
Horse’s Ass, Herding Cats, Messina Hof “Tex Zin,” President Jacques Chirac Champagne (his favorite beverage is Corona!)

I've thought long and hard about this one, but it's time to shut up shop here at The Wine Chicks.

As you all know, I simply don't have the time any longer to post stuff - that's been more than obvious. I also have been focusing so much on certain wines that I rarely taste outside of my own portfolio. And the last thing I want to do is make this site an extension of my day job. I've wanted to keep this open but since I'm pressed for time, I too often just post about a tasting/wine dinner/IPO wine with which I was involved. The quality of my writing has certain suffered and I don't want to keep posting crappy blips just for the sake of posting crappy blips.

So, let's ring in a Chick-free New Year! Who knows? Maybe I'll resurface elsewhere in the not-too-distant future...

This wine reminds me again that Torrontés made in the Cafayate Valley could well be considered the benchmark for Argentine Torrontés. For being in the $10-$12 range, this Torrontés boasts a great deal more complexity and balance than some French and Italian varieties costing more have sadly failed to exhibit. Although I am a lifetime fan of European wines, I?d like to drink more intelligent value wines made by producers who don?t take me for granted due to some sense of entitlement. I sometimes worry about that and I?m not sure whether it?s that exactly or perhaps the fact that wine prices for Burgundy and Bordeaux are incredibly inflated, but I?m finding it more difficult than ever to put down $15 for a bottle of white wine from prestige regions that won?t underwhelm.

Reflecting more upon possible Argentine wine import trends, I am really looking forward to seeing more wines from Argentina?s provinces outside of Mendoza given that producers are avoiding bulk production like the plague and still very much feel that they have everything to prove. For one, crafting wines in Salta isn?t exactly for the faint of heart?stony, sandy soils on steep Andean inclines and almost 360 days of sunlight. Wines produced in Salta don?t even account for a tenth of Argentine wines, and this especially underscores the fact that bulk producers have stayed away for some time.

I?ve recently noticed lots of new and exciting things which I?ll report on later in terms of Argentine wine imports. Interestingly enough, these wines don?t exactly fit the typical ?Wines of Argentina Awards? formula for success (Bordeaux-style blends with Malbec playing a role to some degree). I am seeing more general Patagonia appellation Pinot Noir, Tempranillo from San Juan and now, more Torrontés producers from Salta stepping up to deliver. I have a feeling that things are looking up for smaller Argentine producers who may want to share their work with export markets such as the U.S., since an open-minded changing of the guard, taste-wise is afoot. For now, here?s my take on the don Rodolfo Torrontés:

In the glass, it is a clear, pale lemon color. The nose is perfumey and stays true to the nature of the aromatic Torrontés variety?clean, pronounced floral aromas (elderflower dominating), stone fruit (apricot and peach), and lemon. The style is dry, with high acidity, light body and an impressive balance of flavors for the price point. The elderflower blossom aspect that dominates from the nose on through to one?s afterbreath really captivated me, as it?s one of my favorite scents/flavors in general. The acidity from the lemon zest is very refreshing and nicely accompanies the stone fruit flavors.

The importer of the don Rodolfo wines is Cabernet Corporation, out of California. Check with them for distribution information if it doesn't seem to be available in your area.

Virtues and Necessities
by Martin Field

Wine is all about the senses. About sensory evaluation, sensuality and consensual enjoyment. And wouldn't it be awful to lose your sense of taste, of smell, of touch, of sight?

It happens. Years ago, a wine-loving colleague went through a devastating course of chemotherapy to treat cancer and was cured. Afterwards he told me he had permanently lost his taste for wine. He sold his not inconsiderable cellar soon afterwards. Another friend had an operation on his nose that left him without a sense of smell. He'll drink a glass of wine with dinner but admits to being indifferent to its finer points.

I was reminded of this aspect of wine and the senses recently while listening to a wine expert banging on about the unimportance of colour in wine. If I heard him correctly, his thesis was that if the wine smelt and tasted good you shouldn't worry too much about its colour.

I couldn't disagree more. I love the colour of wine in the morning, or the evening. The crystal clear, green-hued glisten of a young riesling; the black cherry colour of a young shiraz; the vibrant inky purple of a Coonawarra cabern? [enough already! - Ed.] The visual appeal of wine in the glass is to me an unmissable part of wine drinking.

The banging on wine person finally admitted to being colour blind! They used to call this attitude making a virtue of a necessity.

And talking of sensory evaluation
Long due for reassessment is the ancient scoring system used at most Australian wine shows. The one where wines are scored out of 20 - with a possible three points (15%) awarded for appearance, seven (35%) for bouquet and ten (50%) for palate. Anyone who's ever had a cold will tell you that smell is probably the most important sensory sensation where wine is concerned. When people have colds they typically complain, ?I can't taste a thing.' What they really mean is, ?I can't smell a thing.' It's their noses that are blocked up - not their mouths.

I realise that many judges just award an intuitive score out of 20 rather than individually scoring each component and then adding up the total. Nevertheless, I'd re-jig the weighting thus: three points (15%) for appearance, nine (45%) for bouquet, five (25%) for palate and three (15%) for overall finesse and balance. Whether the scoring system is out of 20 or 100, or whatever, the percentage weighting would remain the same.

Big news in the steep Douro Valley! Symington Family Estates, owners of internationally renowned Port brands Dow?s, Graham?s, and Warre?s is converting their three Vilariça valley vineyards entirely to organic farming. Quinta do Atayde, Quinta de Assares and Quinta da Canada, consisting in total of 146 hectares, or 361 acres, will gain their official “organic” certification in two years time. However, an organic Altano red wine has already been made from the 7 ha fully certified as organic at the Quinta de Assares vineyard in 2007 that is currently in barrel and will be released later this year.

Having read this press release yesterday, what perplexed me was why these 146 hectares were chosen to be organic in their 900 ha. portfolio? What makes the Vilariça valley different? Like any successful business, the valley was chosen on the basis of location. As opposed to their vineyards banking the main Douro valley, the Vilariça valley enjoys colder winters and drier summers, in addition to schistous soils which allow for optimal draining. Couple this with an ideal pH range and balanced mineral nutrition in the soil that naturally produces low-yielding fruit, and you’ve got yourself a perfect spot for organic farming, or so Symington hopes.

Another interesting factoid to note is that Touriga Nacional accounts for only 3% of the total vineyards planted in the Douro Valley. 3%! Considering that this is one of the main grapes in your basic port blend, that statistic is a little shocking. And of that 3%, Symington can boast that Vilariça valley is organically growing 31% of all Touriga Nacional in the Douro. Not a bad marketing angle!

For the record, Touriga Francesa is the most widely planted grape in the Douro Valley.

That said, will this effect my buying patterns? When considering the global climate change, will I buy more Symington wines as a result of their “green” stance? Honestly, it depends on the quality of the wine. When the Altano is released, and I discover that it is a good bottle, of course I’ll endorse it. But if it’s not a good bottle of wine at a decent price, just because it’s an organic wine, doesn’t mean I’m going to suggest that you run out and buy it.

Are you swayed by Symington’s green efforts? When perusing your local wine shop, would you choose the organic versus the non-organic if quality and price are equal? Both Tom Wark and Catavino want to know

Cheers,
Gabriella

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Marking the first anniversary of the 24 hour drinking licence laws, a 'rescue remedy' called Dink has been released.

It is supposed to mitigate the ill-effects of binge-drinking with ingredients that mop up free radicals produced by the liver when it is processing alcohol. It is also cheap and readily available.

It is being marketed to "people who like to get merry". Presumably because they feel it is unwise to market it to people who like to get smashed out of their skulls every Friday night and throw up partially digested burgers on street corners. I think we know who it is actually aimed at.

I must admit that my first thought was "great idea", sounds so useful. But while I'm no Catholic I do think the pain of hang-overs is justly deserved and should reflect any excess. The sparkle generated by a few drinks with friends too easily degenerates into boorishness  and incapacity beyond a certain point. There are very few elegant drunks.

And aren't we supposed to be cutting down binge drinking, as a society? We need a cultural shift that comes collectively - social evolution if you like, of the kind we've seen with smoking, drink driving and wearing seat belts.

Most Friday-nighters, though by no means all, are young people with their whole lives ahead of them and of course there is a natural protective urge to want them to stay healthy. The price that many of them pay for their excesses can be heart-breaking. Blaming them as being responsible for their own actions is ridiculous if the message they absorb is that getting really drunk and doing stupid things is clever and/or funny.

And now we are giving them the tools to avoid hangovers. I like drinking and sometimes I drink more than I should, but I also know that my body hates it when I do. It's a natural defense mechanism to show us our limits and should not be overlooked as a preventative.

If we no longer have any medical consequences we will push our bodies over the limit as a matter of course. But often the real trauma of binge drinking is the wider physical and emotional damage caused by violence, bravado, promiscuity or recklessness . Can we  develop a pill for that too?   

In January, for those of you who weren’t following our play by play of the II International Conference on Climate and Wine, Catavino spent three days cornering wine celebrities, in order to get a better sense as to how wine is being affected both now and in the future by the fluctuating climate conditions. Stubborn and wonderfully determined people such as Richard Smart, Bruno Prats, Miguel Torres, Pancho Campo, Carlos de Jesus of Amorim, Dr. Gregory Jones, and of course, Al Gore, all vented their fears and frustrations with the current lackadaisical attitude held throughout the wine world regarding the impact of climate on wine. Each passionate in their own right, but there was one in particular that I had been pining to interview for months.

Having been previously introduced to Oz Clarke through his books and articles, it wasn’t until I saw his charismatic nature in Oz and James’s Big Wine Adventure that I was hooked. This BBC television program, first aired in 2006, and was undoubtedly one of my favorite wine programs, if only to see Oz flirt with yet another woman. His coy and passionate nature was fun and made learning about Bordeaux and Languedoc-Roussillon entertaining, rather than intimidating. Therefore, to have the opportunity to not only see him in person, but to interview him, albeit a little daunting, was great fun. Add a camera and question that impassions him, and Oz will keep going for hours, interweaving personal stories and jokes with highly specific wine facts that will eventually leave your head spinning.

That said, we would like to thank Richard Gillespie for filming and producing our interview, and hope you enjoy the clip! Next up a special interview, but will share that one with you later!

Cheers,
Gabriella

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Although I spend a reasonable amount of time (how much is reasonable?) thinking about which wine to enjoy with a meal, quite often I'll find that even if it's not perfect it is still entirely serviceable and rather than wail hysterically while tipping the bottle down my throat, I can enjoy both food and wine while making a mental note to try something else next time.

But then, when you most want to find just the thing to do justice to the efforts of the chef, you go and make an absolute clanger. Of course it is also about doing justice to the effort that has gone into the production of the wine so showing it off in the most flattering company  is desirous  in absolute propotion to the amount of effort it is to procure a bottle and how lovingly you cherish it.

I haven't gone too far out of my way to scout out the perfect steak to show off my £5.49 Argentinian Cabernet Sauvignon. Although they would be more laidback company than some, more intricate, menus.

Had the most wonderful meal a couple of nights ago courtesy of a former Masterchef contestant.  We kicked off the evening with some Champagne Drappier Brut Carte d'Or NV. A very biscuity nose with a fresh, light and clean apple palate with a broad, creamy bottom layer with an enthusiatic but not overwhelming mousse and very decent length.

The first course was mushroom ravioli in a wild mushroom (girasol) broth in which the  woodland flavours sang out in operatic fashion. We matched that with a Louis Latour, Domaine de Valmoissine Pinot Noir 2002 from Provence. Very light crimson this was correct and tasty. Already quite evolved but still lots of fruit, just not the concentration I'd hoped for.  Made a great pairing with the mushrooms though and the lightness and acidity in the wine lifted the earthy tones and richness of the ravioli.

The fabulously elaborate meal continued with roast duck cooked in red wine with cherry sauce. For the duck I had brought along a Feytit Clinet 2000 from Pomerol having enjoyed right bank Bordeaux with duck on many previous occasions. Here though the intensity and sweetness of the cherries and the reduction glaze reduced this otherwise rather lovely wine to thin, metallic, short nastiness. Really very sad!

We tried opening an Eldridge Blue Chip Shiraz 2003 from Clare Valley in South Australia, which alone was sweet, unctuous and jammy but this too couldn't take on the cherries.

Which came first - the cherry or the Feytit Clinet? They both lost that night.  Tant pis...learn from mistakes. Next time before rummaging through the cellar, I'll ask for an exact breakdown of the recipes from my host - NO, not really! This is just for fun.

I can remember a time when the word "Alsace" only brought to mind dim memories of my 5th grade class discussion on some valley that people were fighting about in one of those big wars. In those days I definitely couldn't spell Gewurztraminer, and I had only tried one or two of them.

Perhaps you'd call me a late bloomer when it came to Alsatian wine, but bloom I eventually did, and now I'm a quiet, but fierce devotee of what I believe to be some of the most individualistic wines on the planet. Alsace has always been an odd duck of a winegrowing region. It is the only region in France that not only allows, but mandates that the name of the grape variety appear on the label (though there are exceptions). It happens to grow grapes more associated with Germany and Northern Italy than with the rest of France (Riesling, Gewurztraminer, and Pinot Gris), and perhaps by virtue of its occasionally Germanic past, produces more beer than any other winegrowing region in the country.

Characterized by steep hillside vineyards whose sun exposure, coupled with the region's cooler climate make for long slow grape maturation, Alsace has been worked by small village winemakers for centuries (major regional wars notwithstanding). There are thousands of producers in the region, though according to the Oxford Companion to Wine, about 175 of those producers make up nearly 80 percent of the regions production. Many of those 175 are still relatively small by French standards, but some, due to their tenure as well as success have grown to be significant producers that make enough wine for export all over the globe.

Trimbach (or more properly, Maison Trimbach) is perhaps one of the best known of these larger producers, and for good reason. The Trimbach family has been making wine under their name since progenitor Jean Trimbach founded the house label in 1636. Twelve generations later, the estate is still run by the family, and is synonymous with the region, producing what some consider to be the finest wines around.

For the first two hundred or so years, Trimbach wines were made, like many in the region, in relative obscurity. Produced and consumed all within a 25 mile radius, the wines were part of the fabric of village life. Around the