Luckily I don't suffer from nausea, so the semi-suicidal 2,000-foot climb to Montalcino rewards me with stunning views of Tuscany's grandeur. "That's where I live," Yoshi mentions casually with just a hint of pride. I follow his gaze up the mountain to the rustic hamlet now barely visible behind its wall. A few church towers rise above the crowded maze of tenant buildings. A woman opens the red shutters of her rustic apartment. March in Montalcino is a long, lingering month. With that in mind, I feel the urge to kill Yoshi and steal his job and life when I'm suddenly quelled by some amalgamate image from childhood: the Italian equivalent of Julie Andrews running down a green, mountain pasture, arms aflight, Ave Maria wafting in the background. I relax and enjoy the scenery with only mild pangs of jealousy.

We're in southern Tuscany -- the place Adam and Eve had to leave after Eve bit into that ripe sangiovese grape. Here, there's no shortage of excruciatingly quaint hilltop towns; no problem making you feel like writing home to say, "Sell everything. Never returning." Southern Tuscany is wine country, is Italy, is civilization at its very best. And if southern Tuscany is all that, Montalcino (Moan-tall-chino) is the capital in my eyes -- what most Americans must envision when they think of Italy. Picture the medieval burg clinging to its pinnacle, the serpentine cobblestone streets and squat grandmothers who negotiate them. Churchbells can be heard from anywhere in the city. Good wine is a given. Here, the pace is slower, the olive oil greener, and the entire town seems to reek of the perfection of daily life.

"There's not much to do in Montalcino," Yoshi says. But he says it in such a way that leaves me thinking "nothing to do" in Montalcino is most definitely a good thing. Here, hours are stretched free of charge. Wineglasses swell with content, and like the mythic Hydra, dishes of savory pasta seem to regenerate threefold every bite you take. There are no teenybopper discotheques, no cheesy trinket venders peddling their weary wares on the streets. Not even the Let's Go and Rick Steves backpacker hordes find their way up the mountain (often), as it's a bit difficult to reach. No train braves the perilous climb up to Montalcino's summit. Without a car, you're better off taking the one-hour bus ride from Siena.

Once at Montalcino, you're greeted by a perfectly preserved medieval hamlet. Start with a walk to the far end of the city where the fortress, or Rocca, lies. Familiarize yourself with the one main street. This requires little effort and will also let you kick off your stay in Montalcino at its Rocca. Walk the grounds, take a stroll along the catwalks, or cruise inside the turrets. And though the views from just about anywhere in Montalcino are truly inspiring, those from atop the Rocca feel somehow even more regal. Plan secret attacks on neighboring villages, wax philosophic, or just suck in the mountain air.

Although constructed in the 14th century, the Rocca has been "modernized" inside with the addition of its own wine bar, or enoteca -- arguably the first Italian term you should memorize. These blessed creatures, these enoteche, curiously absent (or at least endangered in America) thrive in Montalcino. And enoteche make me very happy. This particular one allows you to sample not only some of Italy's finest wines ($1.50 to $5 a glass) but also local meats and cheeses, like the indigenous wild boar sausage and the smooth Pecorino cheese.

Someone dead and famous once said, "To truly appreciate someplace, go there poor." That sums up my travel philosophy as much in principle as out of necessity. And while northern Italy is no budget traveler's dream, we will endure. Believe me, you'll feel better spending money on a truly memorable Tuscan experience -- like a few glasses of wine in the Rocca -- than you will getting your caricature taken outside the Duomo in Florence for triple the price.

If you're looking for something a little less, well, fortress-like and expensive, check out Enoteca Franci, one of Yoshi's hangouts. You'll find it in the main piazza to the side of the clock tower on Via Mazzini. Enoteca Franci is the Cheers of the city, attracting every living inhabitant in Montalcino, young and old, hip and otherwise. During sunny days, get a bottle of great Montalcino wine, sip a cappuccino or snack on some rustic salami and Parmigiano cheese. At night, the atmosphere is right out of a Hemingway novel: red vinyl benches; mirrors; chandeliers; and a dark, cavernous back room full of wines to choose from or to ogle, or both. Sound expensive and chic? Nah. Plus you get the whole "ex-patriot, grainy black-and-white" feeling to boot.

And there's plenty of great wine to go around. First and foremost, the top wine, the black rooster of the town: Brunello di Montalcino. Actually, its reputation doesn't just apply to Montalcino, Tuscany or even Italy. In the world of wine, Brunello is a big boy. A strain of the more familiar sangiovese grape of Chianti, Brunello (so named because of its brownish hue) is responsible for Italy's finest red wine alongside Barolo. With a minimum aging of four years -- six months of which must be in bottle -- Brunello is a dark, dry, potent wine that goes with anything it wants. For that reason, it's, well, a bit expensive. A bottle will start around $20 and run as far as your credit card can. And further. And faster. Keep in mind, though, that the same wine in America -- provided you can even find it -- costs much more. From the little investigating I've done, you're looking at around a $10 to $15 price hike in America on Brunello. In addition, you have the usually insane "dock fees" or whatever American restaurants call their premiums. Translation: if you feel like doing it up in Montalcino, Brunello is the one.

But I have good news for those who don't want to mortgage their mothers for wine: Rosso di Montalcino. This wine is made from the same sangiovese strain. In many respects, it's the same wine, the only difference is the aging time and price tag. And sure, I could probably tell the difference between Brunello and Rosso. But I can also tell the difference between a Mercedes and a Honda. And which is better for the money? Rosso starts at $5 and runs to about $10 for the top producers. Don't sweat these big names, though. Every bottle I had was a lesson in how to enjoy life. And if you're not a total wine geek, Rosso, in most cases, is a much better choice than the far pricier Brunello.

The more established wineries in Montalcino excel in most all the varietals, though. Apart from the slew of red wines, you can peruse anything in white from sauvignon blanc to the syrupy sweet moscato. In short, Montalcino is a wine town. You merely need to visit Enoteca Franci or any one of the some thirty million bars or enoteche (or so it seems, as potential wine pit stops appear with blissful regularity). And when drinking wine in Montalcino remember: being snobbish with wine doesn't come naturally to Italians. Wine is their mass consumption, normal beverage which, for most Italians, still comes in a water glass. As such, wine drinking seems a touch more genuine, more enjoyable. No pedantic rigamarole, just good wine and, of greater importance, kind, witty people.

If you're itching to taste the proverbial "fruit of the vine" and want to experience what really put Montalcino on the map, go to the tourist office and get a bus schedule for the wineries themselves. They're located outside the city, it takes a vehicle, a Japanese friend with a vehicle, a bus, a taxi or a long thumb to get there. For a taste of the original Brunello, head toward Biondi Santi. Clemente Santi was responsible for isolating the Brunello strain of the sangiovese grape in the last century. Since then, Biondi Santi has claimed awards around the world for its Brunello. Good for them. Also good for us -- if we want to spend around $40 a bottle. Prices and standards are high. However, if you're a Brunello freak, or plan on becoming one, this wine is a "must taste;" and the winery, a connoisseur's "must see."

I also highly recommend Banfi: one of the most established yet progressive wineries in Montalcino. You can enjoy the views from the tasting room, the Banfi Villa, the Banfi Castle and, most importantly, slurp some vino with Yoshi. (Tell him I sent you. Heck, it might be good for some perks.) You can even eat at the winery, if you want to drop some major cash and really impress your significant other. However, any type of winery experience is possible. Montalcino has everything from space age, stainless steel producers, to old school brothers with unpronounceable names.

Just about any type of winery experience is possible, though. Montalcino has everything from space age, stainless steel producers to old-school brothers with unpronounceable names. The smaller estate of Campogiovanni, for example, doesn't have the esteemed reputation and, therefore, must make quality wine at the lowest cost possible. Although owned by the larger San Felice, Campogiovanni is fighting to make a name for itself in the highly traditional ground of Montalcino And in this category, there's a plethora of great wineries ready to sell you on wine before non-existent, or at best, respectively small, reputations. Apart from Campogiovanni, definitely try Marchesato degli Aleramici, Col d'Orcia, Castelgiocondo, Mastroianni and la Poderina. Brunello from these producers usually runs in the $18 to $30 range; Rosso from $6 to $10. Though their wines are easy to acquire, information on most of these wineries is scarce. Check with the tourist office, or call directly upon arriving.

"But we must eat," you say. "We can't live on wine alone." Sadly, this is true. Have no fear, though. If the Montalcinese know anything beside wine, they know food. And the question is not where or what to eat, but how to sample everything without breaking your budget or your new Italian leather belt. Yoshi and I checked out his favorite place, Osteria di Porta al Cassero. From the street it may not seem like much. The actual surroundings are quite simple and unpretentious -- my favorite style. But the smell alone is enough to merit a try. I almost floated in on a wave of heavenly aromas a la Tom and Jerry. Definitely try anything with wild boar, usually prepared as a stew or ragù. And if tripe is your game, it's also the specialty. Yoshi partook. I did not. If you're like me, check out Pici -- thick, worm-like spaghetti -- or Pappardelle -- big ribbons. Both are traditionally served with one of many rustic treats from meat lover's heaven and come almost attached to a bottle of Montalcino vino.

For espresso, cappuccino and every derivative thereof, stop by Bar Mariuccia, sort of across from Enoteca Franci. I never asked, but the elderly couple who slings the java must be the Mariuccias. A real mom-and-pop operation complete with sweets from another Mariuccia who runs a pastry shop and rents rooms down the road. Stunning views of the countryside await in the backroom of the bar. There is no charge to sit down or be waited on as there is in the bars of some of the more touristy hilltop towns.

Now you're beat. You pounded out the last drop of your Brunello and went for the after-dinner grappa. Feeling oh so Italian, you even stopped for the late-night espresso. Where to stay? Hotels are scarce and expensive, but fortunately rooms abound. While taking your non-goal-oriented strolls, you probably saw signs here and there saying: "camere/zimmer/rooms." These could be anything from private rooms inside family houses to quasi-condos.

The best I found was a place called Il Moro. Also located on Via Mazzini but away from the main piazza, Il Moro is attached to the trattoria of the same name. There are four double rooms, beautifully refinished with wooden interiors, superb views and a combined kitchen/dining room/sitting room downstairs. I was there in March, and my girlfriend and I had the whole swanky place to ourselves. A room will run you about $40 a night, but it increases to $60 from Easter to the festival month of June. Well worth it, even if you have to bend, twist or otherwise alter your budget. If Il Moro doesn't turn your crank, check with the Mariuccia family or the tourist office by the main piazza for listings. Otherwise, take another leisurely stroll around the city inquiring about prices when you see the sign "camere/zimmer/rooms." Nothing could give you a better feel for Montalcino and its inhabitants.

More rustic getaways are also possible. If you're bent on getting away from everything, try an agriturismo: usually a rural hotelesque setting on the road less traveled. Being that Montalcino is already a tad "out there," agriturismo offers you the possibility of stretching your days even further. For a really different take, try Abbadia Ardenga. This ex-abbey now rents entire apartments at reasonable prices (starts at about $20 per person per day). This is particularly worthwhile for larger groups. A minimum stay of three days is required.

If Il Moro and the rustic hideaways don't turn your crank, there are, of course, the star clustered hotels. Montalcino's best -- Hotel Bellaria and Albergo Ristorante Il Giglio -- boast three stars and have all the amenities. Get the full treatment and opt for "full pension" -- two square meals along with the room, all at the same place for around $85 per person.

If you go for a posh pad, save money on eats by grabbing some sausage, cheese, good Tuscan bread and wine from the COOP supermarket. Have a picnic on the church lawn at the opposite end of the town from the Rocca. And don't worry if you find yourself becoming more Montalcinese than you thought possible: hanging out in bars when you're not thirsty, chatting with locals when you don't speak Italian. I was even eyeing Yoshi's overtly Italian shoes and coat thinking, "those are pretty sharp." Just enjoy these metabolic changes -- what I group collectively as "The Montalcino Syndrome" -- while they last.

images by Christopher Sawyer

I expected them to scatter. But as we got closer they paid no attention to us. They were too busy chomping away at the green stuff planted between the vineyard rows: gourmet grasses, wild flowers and their favorite treat - the spiky Yellow Star Thistle.

Collins explained the idea behind using chickens is based on the concept of biodiversity. The chickens eat the natural material, process it, then put it back as a rich type of, well, specialized manure. Eventually the manure and cover crops are softly tilled into the ground and serve as a natural soil fertilizer. In springtime, packed with powerful nutrients, the mixture acts like a sort of alarm clock, waking the vines and energizing them from their dormant winter snooze.

"For quality wine, grapes should be an expression of the soil and the vineyards where they?re grown," Collins says. "Using synthetic chemicals means there?s something missing from the wine as far as authenticity or natural personality is concerned."

Certified as organic in January 2003, Tablas Creek Vineyards is a member of a new wave of premium U.S. wine producers recognizing the benefits of using old-fashioned farming methods. The concept is simple: work closely with nature instead of against it.

By definition, organic agriculture refers to fruit, vegetable and other food products cultivated without the use of toxic pesticides, herbicides and synthetic fertilizers. Like a touch of TLC from Mother Nature, the main goal is to build healthy soil and healthy plants, and to protect the surrounding environment and workers in the most natural way possible.

Over the past decade, more than 15,000 vineyard acres in the U.S. have been farmed organically, an amazing increase from only 200 acres in 1989. California is a hotspot for this movement. There are nearly 7,000 acres of certified vineyards planted by 113 producers in the state. Many others do it without applying for certification. "No compromise!" is the shared bravado.

Gettin? Down With Nature

Okay, let?s set things straight. The general problem with synthetic chemicals is that they eat the natural nutrients and minerals in the soil. Conversely, the organic approach adds natural resiliency to the soil, thus strengthening the plants.

To make this happen, organic soils are nourished with a variety of natural ingredients, like cover crops, manure and powerful compost made with recycled materials such as pomace (grape skins), straw and other landscape debris. The idea is to have as much commotion - otherwise known as energy from microorganisms - moving around in the soil as possible. Near the vineyards, flowers, herbs, vegetables and fruit trees are planted to create additional activity that?ll benefit the native flora and fauna. In other words, it?s all about raw material, baby!

John Williams, winemaker at Frog?s Leap Wine Cellars in Napa Valley, is a true believer in the power of organic farming. All vineyards comprising the Frog Farm property have been certified organic since 1999.

Williams offers this analogy, which addresses use of conventional chemicals as a "quick fix" in the old days: "It?s like if your kids are on a soda and candy bar diet: response is impressive, sustainability is not. Our goal is to make sure that our soil has a balanced diet at all times. Financially and as far as quality is concerned, it?s a very viable situation."

While sustainable farming practices have quickly caught on with many grape growers, controlling pesky weeds remains a main obstacle that keeps many from taking the organic plunge. As a result, most grape growers still rely on annihilating the green material with toxic products.

Organic producers, however, have found ways of getting around this. Techniques include mulching vineyard rows to suppress weeds; using the pyrotechnical alternative ("fire, fire!" as Beavis once said) to burn them with propane torches; or employing small tractors with soft rubber bumpers to cut the weeds without harming the vines.

Another difficult matter has been the ongoing battle with insects that can cause serious vine damage. However, instead of using harmful conventional sprays, organic converts focus on creating unique insectaries that feature a variety of flowers, shrubs and trees. The idea is to attract beneficial insects that?ll eat the problematic vine pests.

The birthplace of this organic wine movement was California?s Mendocino County. Today, more than 3,000 acres of grapes grown in the county are farmed organically.

Charlie Barra, whose family owns the Barra and Girasole brands of organic wine, has been working with grapes in Redwood Valley since he was just nine years old. "Most of us were farming organically for as long as I can remember," said Barra, 78. "We couldn?t afford chemicals back then, and we still don?t need them today. There just wasn?t a name to call this practice until the last 25 years."

While Redwood Valley?s Frey Vineyards was one of the first to have certified vineyards in the U.S., it was the more recognizable brand - Fetzer Vineyards - that ultimately became the prototype for sustainable agriculture in the mid-1980s. In 1989, Fetzer began its eco-friendly commitment by converting 1,600 vineyard acres to organic.

Until recently, the concept of organic wines left a sour impression on critics and consumers. Most of this was due to bad winemaking or bottling techniques. But thanks to new, innovative farming methods, including reducing the amount of water used, minimizing crop load and hand harvesting, as well as new technology used in the winemaking process, the overall quality of wines - both organic and conventional - have improved significantly in the past decade. As a result, the lingering hippy cliche or "stigma" commonly associated with organic wines has started to fade, being replaced instead with images of more racy, premium style wine.

Moon Mountain Vineyards, located on the rugged Mayacamas mountain range overlooking Sonoma Valley, began its conversion to organic farming techniques in 1998. Winemaker Randall Watkins has been impressed with how much more concentrated the fruit flavors have become since chemicals are no longer used. "The vineyard now speaks for itself," Watkins says.

Signs of such producers? success are evident in the marketplace. For example, Whole Foods, Cost Plus and specialty wine shops now feature organic wine sections on their shelves that cater to a growing number of environmentally conscious consumers.

Want to know more? Read Nudist Camp Part II in the next issue.

* Sulfites are natural by-products of fermentation. It?s impossible to have no sulfites in wine. However, winemakers can choose not to add sulfur (which eventually turns into sulfites) to their wines during the winemaking process, thus minimizing the amount of sulfites in the finished product.

Eco-Friendly Ladybugs

Lolonis Winery, located in Mendocino?s Redwood Valley, farms 250 acres of organic vineyards, including a large number of old, gnarly vine plantings of zinfandel, petite sirah and carignane. The saving graces on the property have been ladybugs.

Each year, Lolonis purchases millions of these little critters and releases them in the vineyards to combat harmful pests. "We?re looking for consistent quality and not variability," says Philip Lolonis, a third-generation member of the Greek family that planted the original vines in the 1950s. "We?ve harnessed the power of the ladybug to help us get there. They?re not only cute, but very effective!"

Trendy as these specialty vodkas may seem, spice- and herb-infused vodkas have been sating drinkers since the spirit first cracked the ice on frozen Russian and Polish faces several hundred years ago. Back then, flavoring wasn't intended for variety. It was necessary to take the edge off the primitive mash, the intense, harsh taste of which could make even the swarthiest drinker breathe fire.

Later, the ability to craft flavored concoctions became the mark of a skillful distiller. Among those who elevated the practice to an art were the Russians and Poles, who've long marketed dozens of flavored vodkas. Among the most unusual brands in Russia are Okhotnichya or "Hunter's" vodka (flavored with a mix of ginger, cloves, lemon peel, coffee, anise and other herbs and spices, then blended with sugar and a touch of a wine similar to white port) and Zubrovka (vodka flavored with bison grass, an aromatic grass which is the cud of choice for herds of the rare European bison).

Flavored vodkas were slow to reach the mass U.S. market, however. Americans first became hooked on "the white spirit" after World War II, lured by the convenient fact that it had "no taste and no smell" (and could therefore be consumed on the sly). And for decades the classic vodka martini or vodka-tonic suited drinkers just fine. It wasn't until the cocktail craze of the late 90s that the current frenzy for vodka variety took off. Luckily, there are plenty of quality distillers out there to satisfy demand.

Among the first to tempt our palates with readily available flavored vodkas were Absolut and Stolichnaya. Absolut entered this niche market in 1986 with its Peppar, an aromatic, complex and spicy vodka that gets its kick from the spicy components in the capsicum pepper family and from fresh green jalapeño pepper. They later added Absolut Citron, Kurant and Mandarin. The newest twist to the Absolut line? Absolut Vanilia, which has a rich, robust and complex taste of vanilla, with notes of butterscotch and hints of dark chocolate. Its scheduled release is this spring.

Stoli was also an early marketer of laced libations, luring many drinkers to the pleasures of flavored vodkas with its Vodka Razberi (made with ripe raspberries), Vodka Vanilla (with the pure essence of Madagascan and Indonesian vanilla beans) and Vodka Zinamon (infused with the zip of cinnamon).

The success of the Absolut and Stoli creations gave rise to a new generation of cocktail concoctions and inspired other distillers to create fresh and unexpected varieties. Among those most likely to turn up at your local watering hole are the infusions of Charbay, which uses fresh fruit to create blood orange, ruby red grapefruit and key lime vodkas; Burnett's, which offers sour apple (great in an Appletini), coconut, raspberry, orange, citrus and vanilla; the artistically designed Vincent Van Gogh Vodkas, whose varieties include Chocolate, Oranje, Vanilla, Raspberry, Wild Appel and Citroen; and OP, a 70- proof Swedish vodka flavored with ginger, orange and peach, and spiced with anise, fennel and caraway.

A newcomer to the flavored vodka scene is Hangar One, a small, quality distiller that uses real fruit and "rare and expensive" ingredients to produce its Buddha's Hand Citron, Kaffir Lime and Mandarin Blossom vodkas. Luscious straight up, these fruit-laced spirits can also be the inspiration for cocktails to die for.

Should a Cosmo with Burnett's Blood Orange Vodka or a Sunflower Martini with Vincent Van Gogh's Raspberry seem too traditional, frighten your drinking companions by ordering up a shot of Blavod, a smooth-tasting vodka colored black by the catcchu herb. While it looks like The Dark Prince's drink of choice, Blavod is surprisingly refreshing in a Black Bull (ice, Red Bull and Blavod) or a Sundance (ice, blue curacoa, soda water and Blavod).

Another far-out blend is Feigling, a fig-infused vodka that comes in a little bottle from Germany. Served straight or with a little tonic and a twist, Feigling is a unique taste and sure to throw a little variety into your drinking repertoire.

If you?re lucky enough to find them, don't pass up a chance to try the Polish Wisent, flavored with a species of bison grass that grows only in the Bialowieska Forest (acknowledged to be the last primeval forest left in Europe), or the Ukrainian Soomska Horobynova (flavored with ashberry) and Soomska Horilka Pryhodko (flavored with St. John's Wort, Buffalo Grass, coriander and lemon).

So your local bar thinks Absolut Kurant is the cutting-edge of flavors? You can still experiment with new ventures in vodka. Roll up your sleeves and concoct your own unique libations. Begin with a quality vodka. While "quality" is in the taste buds of the drinker, general wisdom holds that you?ll get better results and suffer fewer day-after side effects if you stick to a bottle in the $20-and-up range. Purchase anything under seven bucks to use in your infusion and you'll waste culinary effort as well as brain cells.

Recipe for Infusion

The process by which vodkas are flavored is called infusion. This is a fancy word for mixing stuff with vodka and letting it soak. Unless otherwise directed by a recipe, infuse your vodkas at room temperature. Freezing the flavored vodkas after infusion, however, will ensure the best taste.

The easiest way to flavor vodka is with fresh fruit, which both soaks up and flavors the spirit. Just mix vodka in equal portions with ripe, washed and coarsely chopped fruit (peaches, pineapples or strawberries are common favorites). Place the mixture in a glass canning jar, and let the concoction sit for several days. Strain before serving, or leave in a few fruit chunks for munching. This method will work with any fruit, including fresh and sun-dried tomatoes as well as chili peppers. In short, if you can dream it and drink it, you can infuse it.

If you want to venture beyond fruit, give these traditional and not-so-traditional infusion recipes a try. Vodka lovers will find these concoctions delectable on their own (plain or with a garnish), but they can also be used to breathe new life into a favorite old cocktail.

Recipes

(Note: For all recipes use 1 pint of plain vodka and infuse at room temperature for 24 hours. Then strain.)

Anise Vodka: Licorice-laced vodka was a favorite of Peter the Great, so it's got to be good enough for us. Soak 2 t whole anise seed. Serve chilled.

Apricot Vodka: Infuse 12 apricot kernels. Serve chilled.

Cherry Vodka: Crush 36 cherry pits (or thereabouts).

Coriander Vodka: Use 2 t coriander seed, slightly crushed.

Garlic-and-Dill Vodka: Infuse 1 clove garlic, slightly crushed, 1 sprig fresh dill and 3 white peppercorns. Leave a little dill in the vodka, if you're so inclined.

Herb Vodka: Infuse a few sprigs of a favorite herb, such as tarragon or basil. Leave a small bit of herb in the vodka, if you choose.

Saffron Vodka: Use 1/4 t saffron threads.

Tea Vodka: Infuse 4 t black tea leaves (fruit-scented is a nice touch).

Buffalo Grass Vodka/Zubrovka: Use 8 blades of buffalo grass. One blade of grass may be left in the vodka after straining for a little woodland feel.

So next time you order a cocktail, check out the new flavors lining up behind the bar. Flavored vodkas may just be a trend, but they're bound to snare some converts. Bison grass and anise seed aside, 145 million vodka-loving Russians can't be wrong.